good morning gamers I love faerghus dads
(this is a Shez/Rodrigue simp fe3h old men appreciation blog you have been warned)
Today's Seal Is: Some Kind Of Wuppy
why are dudes in fanfic always getting hit with freight train orgasms. why not an orient express orgasm, classy and romantic. where are the shinkansen train orgasms? his orgasm hit him like the TGV atlantique breaking the passenger rail speed record. like the shanghai maglev, his orgasm was a feat of engineering but something of a commercial disappointment.
Don’t tell me delayed orgasms aren’t a thing
learning new things about the german rail system today
Mouse Armor by Jeff De Boer
I love his stated intention behind these projects, ‘Confuse historians’.
Oh that's a tumbler or roller pigeon! They're bred to do this! It's believed that the original inclination to tumble in the air was a tactic to avoid being caught by flying predators, then this inclination was bred in favor of doing it more. Some breeds can also fly normally for hours as well, and the most sound breeds are those that can make safe landings still. There's whole shows and competitions around tumbler pigeons!
There's more unsound breeds of course as well, but this one clearly has good control of its flight and landing. Well done pigeon!
tumblr pigeon 🤨
Types of shipping: an incomplete taxonomy
The matchmaker: when you think these characters would genuinely be well suited to one another if they were real.
The arsonist: when you think these characters would be dreadful for one another and it'd be fun to watch.
The voyeur: when you think it would be sexy if these two sexy people banged.
The identity crisis: when you want to fuck character A and identify with character B, so you ship them because that's close enough.
The therapist: like the identity crisis, but when A loving B demonstrates that you, too, are deserving of love.
The haver-of-eyes: when you don't ship them exactly but you accept that all evidence suggests they're together, canon or not.
The storyteller: when you think it makes for a better story if they're a couple.
The peacemaker: when you'd like these characters not to be fighting over a love triangle. Not a problem if they're all dating!
The making do: when you'd love a ship with certain characteristics in this fandom, and there are precisely two characters with those characteristics.
The fanon takeover: when everyone else seems to be shipping them, so you might as well.
The artist: when it's not your fault if these two in particular are so much fun to draw.
The writer: when it's not your fault if these two in particular are so much fun to write about.
The troll: when you've noticed that shipping these characters annoys all the people you'd most like to annoy.
The rebel: when you've noticed that shipping these characters annoys all the people you'd most like to annoy, specifically the writer and/or actors of this particular media.
The number go up: when you've noticed that shipping these characters gets you a lot of sweet, sweet engagement.
The word of God: when it's canon, and you enjoy the validation.
The Lucifer: when it will never be canon, and you love the creative freedom.
The Destiel: when no matter how you feel about it, you have to admit that the 5th of November 2020 was one hell of a day.
Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand.
You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.
But her family. Holy shit.
First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever
Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.
And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, and she’s getting engaged so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves two more, and those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper
And while one of ‘em’s young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.
And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK
And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”
So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE
And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for
And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker
And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”
And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”
And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth
And yeah
Yeah, I think I kinda get it
Do you like this Video Game Song? #1000
I like it and I've definitely heard it before
I like it and it sounds familiar
I like it and this is my first time hearing it
I don't feel strongly about it or have a complex opinion
I don't like it and I've definitely heard it before
I don't like it and it sounds familiar
I don't like it and this is my first time hearing it
i will espouse principled opposition to nintendo until they release fire emblem: three houses 2: fire emblem: four houses (in which there are six houses). then i will shill for them
fire emblem one billion houses. are you listening njntendo
